LAPTOP forensic report: Hunter Biden Blames Two Market Makers
LAPTOP forensic report: Hunter Biden says hired market makers, not founders, wrecked the Base memecoin launch. One got $500K but added about $5,200 to the pool.
Early story. Some claims here are not officially confirmed yet. We update this post as it confirms.
- Groom Lake says "Market Maker 1" received $500,000 before launch but put only about $5,200 into the main pool, then pulled liquidity 84 seconds after the price peak.
- Wallets tied to that firm made about $686,000 from liquidity positions. Trades linked to "Market Maker 2" netted about $2.18 million in USDC, per the report.
- Neither firm is named. Biden says the one that "screwed up the launch" should buy LAPTOP back and burn it.
in this block
The LAPTOP forensic report is out, and Hunter Biden is pointing at the market makers. A study by Delaware firm Groom Lake, published on October 7, says thin liquidity and two hired trading firms turned the September 9 launch of his Base memecoin into a spike-and-crash, while the 300 million founder tokens never moved.
What actually happened
LAPTOP launched on Base on September 9 with a 1 billion supply. The Block's summary of launch day: the token went parabolic in under two minutes, then finished its first hour roughly 98% below the peak. Holders yelled rug, and the team blamed sniper bots and thin liquidity at the time.
On Wednesday Biden posted the full launch report on laptoptoken.com and a long thread on X. Cointelegraph quotes his framing: "Trump's coin was max extraction, and I wanted to troll every grift like it." He also said the team hired two of the biggest market makers in the business precisely to avoid a messy launch.
The core finding is about depth. BeInCrypto, reading the report, says the main pool held about $35,663 of value but only 29,885 LAPTOP tokens. The Block puts that at roughly 0.003% of supply. With that little inventory, the report found a $6.02 buy moved the price up 5%, while it took a $7,376 sell to move it down 5%.
Where the money went
According to the LAPTOP forensic report, a wallet likely controlled by Market Maker 1 got $500,000 before launch but deployed about 1% of it, roughly $5,244 by BeInCrypto's count. When that liquidity left 84 seconds after the top, Cointelegraph says depth near the price fell from $16,157 to zero.
The report credits that firm with about $686,000 from liquidity positions, with a note that loan terms reserve part of the fees for the lender. Trades linked to Market Maker 2 brought in about $2.18 million in net USDC. Groom Lake describes its attribution with "moderate confidence", not as a certainty.
Biden's side of the ledger is the founder wallet. The Block and Cointelegraph both say it still holds all 300 million founder tokens. The team says those are locked for six months, then release over two years. It also says it will burn most unclaimed airdrop tokens next week.
Who are the market makers?
The report does not say. Back in September, on-chain trackers flagged allocations to GSR, G20 Groups and Wintermute, and Crypto Briefing names those firms as identified in connection with the launch. That is not the same as proof that any of them is Market Maker 1 or 2, and we are not making that claim.
Groom Lake was hired by the LAPTOP team, so treat it as a commissioned report, not a neutral audit. Still, it uses on-chain flows anyone can check, and it does not clear the founders by vibes alone. The receipts are wallet movements.
The market reaction
Coinpedia reports LAPTOP jumped about 21% after the report dropped. On Kraken at 05:59 UTC on October 8, LAPTOP last traded at $0.0822, against a 24-hour range of $0.0741 to $0.0975 and an open of $0.0901. So the bounce faded overnight, which is very memecoin behavior.
There is a Polymarket angle too, but it is cold. The "LAPTOP listed on ___ within 30 days of TGE?" market had Upbit at 2.65%, Bybit at 1.2%, Coinbase at 1.15%, OKX at 1.1% and Binance at 0.75% at 06:10 UTC. Traders see almost no chance of a tier-one listing in time.
What to do as a reader
Read the LAPTOP forensic report yourself before you pick a side. It is a useful case study in how a launch with almost no float can rip and dump without anyone selling founder bags. Thin pool plus heavy demand equals a casino chart.
Do not treat a commissioned report as a verdict, and do not treat unnamed firms as named ones. If a market maker responds publicly, that is the next real data point. The airdrop burn next week is the other thing to verify on-chain.
For context on how fast these things fade, see our Hood Inu crash and Meme Agency crash breakdowns, plus our memecoin lifecycle study. Nothing here is investment advice. If you trade celebrity tokens, size like it can go to zero, because sometimes it nearly does in an hour.
Not financial advice. DYOR, ser.
